I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i would punch a child for taco bell
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
