i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Sext me about skeletons
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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