It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Drunk is not a location!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
