I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
