youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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