If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
