a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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