there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
