It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
