I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
