We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
