he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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