Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
