I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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