pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
