This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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