Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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