you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
