Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
