Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
there is glitter all over my balls
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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