I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
