You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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