the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
