I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
