After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
