Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
