2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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