Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize