she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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