My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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