oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
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