this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
