And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
