No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
