What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize