OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
