sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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