I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
