im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize