Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
