Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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