If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
