so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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