A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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