Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
