Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
