After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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