She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
