If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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