talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
this hospital has no fireball
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
