At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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