My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
