i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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