Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
