she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
