I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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