So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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