Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
