have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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