So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Verdict: uncircumcised.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
