My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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