He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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